Written in: Seattle, while singing at Seattle Opera

Some tips for you from my life as a pro singer.

Got an out of town gig? You sure do, you star. You’re probably asking yourself, “what should I pack, Rocky?” Lucky for you I’m very good at this:

Pack like you’re simultaneously creating a capsule collection for fashion week and are a feral squirrel preparing for a chaotic winter.

What does that mean?

→ COLOR CODE. That way you can mix and match. I usually do like, black, white, red with a touch of purple. You know what I don’t pack for that trip? Green pants. Cause it’s not christmas in my suitcase, people. Accessories are the name of the game for travel. Scarves and jewelry don’t take up space and elevate the outfit. Hottie, pack the earrings.

→ SNACKS, VITAMINS, COFFEE. It’s worth it to have a few food and bevvie things just for you. You deserve it, queen. I bring my yerba matte tea and straw so I can look like a finance bro who just got back from Argentina. And my vitamins so I can not die from so much exposure to the human experience.

→ A HAT. Climate change is real. You need a hat. I don’t care that it’s July and you’re singing in Dallas. You’re going to thank me. Have you ever been to Dallas? They air condition those theaters to 66 in the summer. Why? They hate you. Pack a hat out of spite.

Pack like your suitcase is a miniature model in a train museum.

→ SMALL bottles. I get it. I need a lot of toiletries too. But you can get cream deodorant that works really well and put it in a little tiny jar. Mine lasted 6 weeks this summer. Lotion and hair gel too. This leaves more room in your suitcase for the most important thing:

→ SHOES. You get 3 pairs, slut. Boots, sneakers, and slippers in the winter. Sneakers, sandals, and dealer’s choice in the summer. I cheated and took 4 once in the winter and that was good but I had to leave a sweatshirt behind and I regretted it. But I had to have performance shoes. Whatever.

→ BALLGOWNS. Just kidding. I don’t do that shit. I wear leather pants and sheer tops like the queer I am. But if you do, you bring it as a carry-on and ask the flight attendants to put it in the “coat closet” in the plane. Yes that’s a thing. You know what else goes there? Theorbos. Do you know what that is? No? Then why are you even on my website? Go look it up, and come back when you can tell me the difference between a Theorbo and an Archlute.

Share this blogpost with all your squirrels. Be gay. Make art.

Love,

Rocky